Listen

Written on 7:48 PM by O

When I woke up this morning, I knew it would be a great day. I just had the feeling it would all go well. Monday morning, the sun still a little shy to come out to play, but it was peeking through the clouds in curiosity, waiting to see what a great day it would be for me. I don’t mind the mornings but somehow, when I walk out of my house, I meet people, and sometimes they don’t like mornings. So, it was with a little extra effort that I convinced my evil twin to stay inside through the day. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that it goes against human nature to stay calm when all about you people are being their bitter halves. But it was a lesson in patience for me, a lesson that the most successful people in the world seem to learn before an education begins to cost them.

To be patient, one has only to master three things:
• Listen aggressively,
• Speak slowly and after much thought, and
• Calm down!

The last two points seem practical for a student of patience. You speak slowly and weigh your words in order to avoid saying something you will later regret. Ambrose Bierce put it this way, “Speak when you’re angry and you will give the best speech you will ever regret.” Likewise, you blow off some steam away from an adverse situation or remind yourself of your responsibility for any actions and thus calm down, because there are consequences that come with rash, decisions. But what about the first point: “Listen Aggressively?” How does that teach patience?

The wisest man who ever lived was a great advocate for aggressive listening “Hear, O sons, a father’s instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight,” (Proverbs 4:1, ESV). Yet, I would admit that most of the time, I listen to reply, to refute or for instructions (GPS). But think, if you listened to people with the objective of understanding them, perhaps there would be no need to defend a point of view or get heated because you would get what they are saying. Now that does not mean there should be no difference of opinion, it simply means that you would be able to understand another’s perspective enough to refrain from challenging it harshly.

So, in a situation at work today, when spoken to quite condescendingly by a co-worker, I remembered her complaints of not being able to sleep and being sick for over a week and I felt bad for her, not angry, just sorry. I felt better for not retorting with some comment of equal acidity and her demeanor seemed to change at my calmness. I’m thinking, I might try this more often.

Is patience hard for you?

-O